Years Gone By
by Lizziginne
Summary: A rambling one shot about love, but not in the way you'd expect. Enjoy, Rated T for mentions of Sex. You're all mature enough though


**Ahh, Chemistry tests seem to be inspiration time in my head! I blame my chemistry teacher if you absolutely hate this! It is set in an Alternative Universe because otherwise it makes no sense, just go with the flow, should be okay. Not entirely sure what's that different about this world though, storyline wise.**

**I'm sorry, you are all going to hate me for this. I warn you it isn't my usual Harry/Nikki fluffiness that most people write/expect to read! I've gone a little out there!**

**Disclaimer: Any recognisable characters belong to the BBC (not that they are that recognisable, I've played with them too much!)**

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**Years Gone By**

You'd never been that interested in love, relationships, men. Not until you met him. Sure, you'd had plenty of relationships. The sort that lasted no more than a month. Nothing ever lasted much more than that. No relationship was ever serious. Not to you, at least. You never loved a single one of them.

You hadn't realised quite how desperately you craved the attention of another. How much you needed to be loved. Everything in the past was just meaningless sex, really. A means to an end. But then you met him.

There was something different about the way he held himself. His poise. His presence in a room. The way he'd look at you as if to say "I'm right, you're wrong. I know best". The smirk on his face.

The trouble was he was so out of your reach. So, so out of reach. And that broke your heart a million times over. Every time you thought you could have a shot at love, it was swept away from you within moments. Every time you thought of him like that you wanted to cry. But he wasn't worth your tears. No matter how much you loved him.

Men had come and gone from your life, drifting through. Never sticking around long, they could tell that you loved him deep down. Or at least that your heart was never truly in it. Since you'd met him you'd become close, both as colleagues and as friends. That helps, being such close friends. You could share a takeaway on a Friday night, watching a movie and he'd still never know. Never know how you felt about him, not truly at least.

You were closer to him than your other colleagues, but even they seemed to know how you felt about him. As much as they'd tried, initially, to flirt with you, you weren't interested in them, only him.

Sometimes you'd walk in the room and freeze upon seeing him, scrubs on, engrossed in a case, he looked beautiful like that. How could a man mean so much to you yet not know how you feel? Was he really that oblivious! You'd spent enough time together, he should have seen the longing looks you gave him by now.

A month ago everything changed. It was late, you were both working late and you were both tired, it had been a long day. The case was tough, a family of four killed when a drunk driver ploughed in to them at 90 miles an hour. It was the little girls 5th birthday. You both wanted justice for the family. You'd both lost family in the past. It was horrible, you knew that.

He looked up at you expectantly. He must have asked you a question, you had been too caught up in your own thoughts you hadn't heard him. And instead of responding, you did something you never thought you'd do. You kissed him. Full on, on the lips. He froze momentarily, to shocked you suppose to respond. But then he was kissing you back, more passionately than you could ever have imagined, than you _had_ imagined. He had you pressed up against the wall, as you continued to kiss. He was flush against your body. You'd never been happier in your life.

And then, he pulled away. He must have realised where we were, what we were doing. He shook his head slowly, his eyes silently begging me not to say anything. He backed away slowly, breaking your heart as he did so. He grabbed his coat of his chair and ran.

Broken hearted, you went home. A nice glass, or two, or three, of wine would make you feel better. And it did, at least for a while anyway. The next morning, not so much.

You avoided him coming in to work, could stand the awkward silence that would surely be there between you. It was awful. By as the week passed, it got better, you could look him in the eye. It was still a little awkward but you could cope with it. He seemed different though, in turmoil almost. As if you kissing him had stirred an emotion in him he never knew existed.

You wanted so badly to kiss him again. That kiss, it had ignited a flame in the pit of your stomach. Whenever you were near him, you suddenly wanted, needed even, much more than the friendship you had shared these past years.

Just last week, you had received a call, at about 11 in the evening. You ignored it, who would ring you this late on your night off? Not him, he knows you have the night off, he wouldn't interrupt.

But then it rung again, you answered without looking at who was calling. It was Nikki. She'd had a call from a hysterical Janet. He'd had broken up with her. Ended their 4 year relationship. All you could managed was an "oh". Was it because of you? You almost hoped so, you prayed that the man you loved had left his long term girlfriend for you. But you knew you couldn't rush him, it wasn't right, it wasn't fair.

At work the next day, he looked a mess. You didn't approach him. You thought it best to just leave him to it. He knew how to cope.

Now you're here right now, Nikki is telling you that you have to talk to him, make sure he is okay. Maybe she's a little oblivious to the tension there has been between you theses past weeks, maybe not. Maybe she just wants you to sort things out, go back to how it was before. But things aren't that easy, not after you kissed him. You still feel guilty, it's your fault that he broke up with Janet. At least, you think it is.

You enter the cutting room and he's there, listening to that bloody funeral music again. Looking madly at those slides from that girl. A patient of an old _friend_ form medical school. He is intently staring at it, analysing it, that he doesn't even notice you walk in. You stand right next to him, waiting for him to look up.

He looks at you. Dear god, you love him, you really do. You tell him Nikki wanted you two to have a chat. He looks at you. A moment passes. He stands up. He's is right next to you. Almost as close as you were when you kissed. He whispers you're name. And then, he kisses you.

And suddenly everything is perfect.

He pulls away. Asking you if that's what you wanted. You answer by placing your smiling lips against his again.

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**Hmmmm, well, okay, I'm sorry.**

**I ship Harry/Nikki to the end of the world but this just appeared in my mind and wouldn't leave me alone! And I love Leo/Janet too :S I feel awful inside for writing this but it had to be done :P**

**Hope you enjoyed, leave me a review, let me know what you think and when you realised it was Harry and that it was Leo he was talking about :P **

**I kind of loved writing it :/ I kind of feel guilty about that!**

**Lizzi**

**xxx**


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